A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of learning some valuable lessons from Dr Lisa Damour! Author of Entangled, to be released in February, 2016!
The lasting impressions I got from her engaging presentation about resilience were:
*SLEEP is immensely important. She says that we should protect and prioritize our children's (and surely our own) hours of sleep each night because of the lengthy list of benefits of sleep wrapped into one pill would be a billion dollar drug with only beneficial side effects. I think so too!
*Family MEALS, at least 4 nights per week, powerfully results in significantly smarter kids with a better sense of well being, regardless of the pleasantness of the meals! Grandma was right!
*Meaningful friendships are important, and this is not too surprising. The surprise to me, is that it's best to just have ONE OR TWO CLOSE FRIENDS, rather than more. The reasoning made sense; we can get pulled in too many directions, unintentionally hurt feelings when spending time with one friend, rather than another, and maintaining too many relationships expends lots of energy.
*A growth mindset, rather than a fixed one, refers to the "If I WORK HARD enough, I can do anything!" way of thinking, resulting in much more SUCCESSFUL children and adults, than those who rely on how they were born / their "talents" / their genetics. She included various comparisons of how each mindset would act/feel in various situations, such as getting a disappointing grade, striking out, asking for help from a teacher, etc.
Joan Borysenko is another fabulous resource for RESILIENCE; here is a post I wrote after taking a class from her which provides methods of increasing our resilience.
Lisa also stressed the importance of children spending time with adults, and this matches advice I have been trying to follow from Amy McCready of Positive Parenting Solutions. At my house, we call it "Mommy and Me Time". Check out my post about Positive Parenting Solutions.
Also, here's a post with some other great parenting books!
Look for more posts soon - I have so much fun and exciting stuff to share :)
Last weekend, I had the honor of taking a fabulous class: The Wisdom of the Heart: Where Psychology, Health, and Spirituality Meet with Joan Borysenko.
My spirit and my brain gained much on this day! I love simple, non-invasive, non-medicative ways to be healthier and happier AND the science and physiology behind them!
Joan is very accomplished with degree after degree (from Harvard Medical School), author of 16 books, researcher, friend of many other wonderful doctors, researchers, and religious leaders. Joan is an amazing, warm, personable, and real woman.
I'll share three especially exciting bits I learned:
#1 TLC and LOVE Heal Us!
Our acts of love induce and sustain self-healing by REDUCING IL-6 and cortisol and a naturally INCREASING HGH. These are very beneficial changes, and note that HGH supplements are unapproved by the FDA AND ineffective. Besides being an antagonist to stress, love stimulates our pleasure system, so endorphins, cyanocobalamins, dopamine, oxytocin, vasopressin, and nitric oxide (NO) all increase. These changes decrease our fear and increase our motivation!
#2 "Where ever we COME ALIVE, that's where we are spiritual!" For me, that's right here, teaching others about how to be healthy inside and out, as well as when I feed my family and friends :)
#3 We can BECOME MORE RESILIENT!
Remember that golden trait of kids? Who wouldn't want more?!
Joan discussed many methods of increasing resilience:
Mindfulness, Meditation, Breathing, Gratefulness, Forgiveness, Yoga, Exercise and Compassion/Kindness. Physiology involves two parts of the brain: the amygdala ("emotional brain") and the prefrontal cortex (planning and control center). Resilient people, show up to 30x more activation in the prefrontal cortex than people who lack resilience. When meditating or practicing some other method mentioned above, the prefrontal cortex sends inhibitory GABA to the amydgala, which decreases its activity. In effect, the alarm raised by the amygdala turns off and our emotions are calmed.
BONUS TIP: A Meditation and Lojong Song to TRY
Sing or Say:
"May I be filled with lovingkindness, may I be well.
May I be peaceful, and at ease.
And may I be happy."
After this first verse, repeat with the substitution of "I" for "you", which with each repetition, could be with the intention of anybody or any group of people, including loved ones, as well as enemies, and those we don't understand.
Or perhaps try repeating one of these tips which could serve as slogan for this mental training practice.
When Joan introduced this song, she talked about how researchers at Tufts University were studying Tibetan Monks and found that these practices improve resilience specifically by making one less reactive to stress AND decreasing inflammation. Singing this "song", or just repeating it in your head, is a perfect way to Wish Others Well :)
Another related topic Joan mentioned and I love is Positive Psychology, I surprisingly haven't done a post on this relatively new, and awesome field! The resiliency-boosting topics listed all basically fit under the blanket of Positive Psychology.
Related link: Inner Peace for Busy People: From Stress to Strength
COMMENTS: I love Love Actually: it's actually one of my favorite movies! Do you like to watch a movie once like my hubby, or over and over, like me? Do you like scary movies? I have a post coming soon about the interesting topic of fear :)
